Well, I’ve been pondering an issue for the last few days and the universe is busy throwing answers my way.
This weekend we hosted two artists who were displaying at our local art fair. Listening to them talk about their art (both make jewelry) made me yearn to be more proactive about allotting time for my art, making cards. I felt a little frustrated that even after focusing on card making during my 366 Somedays and again a couple of months ago, card making is still a “someday”, with the exception of the ones I make for friends and family.
Then, my second son read me a passage from The Fellowship of the Ring:
Frodo was now safe in the Last Homely House east of the Sea. That house was, as Bilbo had long ago reported, ‘a perfect house, whether you like food or sleep or story-telling or singing, or just sitting and thinking best, or a pleasant mixture of them all’. Merely to be there was a cure for weariness, fear, and sadness.
My son clearly feels this describes our home, Toad Hall, but the quote made me feel a little sad. That was how I felt the first summer I was here. After a winter of intense work on our new house, I spent the summer luxuriating on the deck, reading and writing for hours and relishing the eclectic qualities of the house that brought me joy. Since we didn’t yet actually live here, there weren’t the homeowner’s chores staring me in the face. It felt like a summer-long vacation. For the last two years we have actually lived in this house. I still enjoy the beauty surrounding the house and the views on my daily walks never get old, but I’ve lost the feeling of relaxation and “just sitting and thinking best”. I’ve let my priorities shift to the do, do, do. I need (want) to sit and think. I want to be creative with my cards. I want to write and read. I want to bring back those feelings of relaxation and bliss. But how?
As I pondered this throughout the weekend, I began to feel even more sad and I knew I would need to address this situation and find an answer for myself. Well, my pondering brought some answers. I unpacked a bag from my last trip to Portland and discovered two books I’d bought at a garage sale while there. Both are on the topic of women and creativity. Then, I picked up a magazine that’s been sitting around for almost a year and I opened it to an article titled, Be Your Own Life Coach, with five steps to begin sorting out the needs, the must-dos, and the wants. I had just been in the kitchen discussing my sadness with my husband and then, BAM, there were these books and there was this article. I thought about this upcoming weekend when I will be out-of-town with my husband while he is working and I suddenly realized this is the perfect opportunity to do some thinking, to take stock of where I am and where I want to be.
And then yesterday morning I opened a gift bag I’d been given as a thank you for volunteering for an event. Inside was a lovely little tea towel with the words, “Do what makes your soul happy!” emblazoned in gold. I hung it in my bathroom where I will see it regularly. I need to remember to make the time to let my soul be happy.
Little nudges, little reminders and I’m listening! Yesterday I enjoyed my coffee out on the deck, I made cards, I took an evening walk, and I’m writing. My soul is happy.