Yesterday morning I woke up 45 minutes before my alarm went off. I thought about getting up, but decided this would be a good time to try some calming meditation. I keep reading that meditation is good for stress relief, satisfactory sleep, weight reduction – just general health, but I have a hard time sitting still. I decided that I would spend these 45 minutes calming my mind, just being quiet. I tried repeating a mantra (several actually), I tried focusing on my breathing, I tried relaxing my muscles from my feet up – none of it worked. My brain felt like the ball in an old-fashioned pinball machine: zing, ping, zing. I’d manage to quiet my brain for no more than a couple of seconds before the ball took off again.
I’d like to be able to sit and relax, to meditate for calmness and clarity. I’m sure the health and wellness claims are true. My brain just doesn’t seem able to comply with this desire. I’ve been trying to do this for years and I’m not giving up, but this morning when I woke up before my alarm went off, I got up and started the laundry.