I went into a Victoria’s Secret store recently to buy some panties for a gift. I explained to the salesgirl (she wasn’t old enough to be a saleslady or a saleswoman) that I was looking for something cute that would be appropriate for a young teen. She took me to a display of bright colored panties in styles ranging from thongs to hip huggers. She explained to me that the panties were on sale for “5 for $26” – a good price for Victoria’s Secret panties. She then went on to say, “…and the best part is that you can mix-&-match! You could buy three pairs for your gift and then get two pairs for yourself. I can show you the area in the back where we have our mature panties.” Mature panties!?!? What exactly does a mature panty look like? Is it wrinkled? Does it have wisdom? Has it been around the block a time or two? Obviously, that wasn’t what she meant by mature panty, but still, do I really look like I wear mature panties? A few years ago our niece and two of our daughters got into a conversation at dinner about panty styles and they laughed hysterically about granny panties – you know the ones they were talking about: white cotton, full cut, fit at the waist. Now, I won’t go into the type of panties I wear, but they’re certainly not granny panties and I wouldn’t even call mine mature panties.
I recently learned that in Italy it is thought that you will have good luck in the coming year if you wear red underwear on New Year’s Eve. No granny panties or mature panties for me, but red...I can deal with that!