I wear sunglasses – often, and I have for years. My eyes are fairly sensitive and it just feels better to wear sunglasses rather than to squint. They’re also great for hiding tears during emotional moments as my friend Kim and I know so well. My standard routine, when I wear sunglasses, is to place them on top of my head when they’re not in use. Over the years, having my sunglasses on or having them on my head has become sort of a signature look for me. When we visited China several years ago, my sunglasses and long black coat garnered me movie star status with locals who wanted their picture taken with me. I’ve always felt pretty cool wearing my sunglasses or walking around with them on top of my head; however, this summer, I’ve realized that I’m no longer cool. Now, I usually have a pair of reading glasses at hand and, when I take them off, I habitually put them on top of my head, often without realizing that my sunglasses are already there. Then I have two pairs of glasses on my head – not cool, dorky! Or, even worse, I hook one pair or the other inside the neck of my shirt. So then I’m walking around with one pair hanging from my shirt and one pair on my head, but it’s a toss-up as to which pair is where, so I find myself walking out into the sunlight and accidentally putting on my reading glasses or trying to read a label with my sunglasses.
When I started wearing reading glasses my husband asked me not to wear the librarian-style reading glass necklace, but a friend recently suggested that I get the neoprene-type of eyeglass straps that are used for kayaking and other sports. Her theory is that this type of “nerd strap” doesn’t look as dorky – it makes one look sporty or athletic. I actually checked out the “athletic” straps at REI last weekend and, frankly, I had trouble envisioning the look as either sporty or athletic – it still said, “Dork!”
The final straw was when I found a pair of my beloved Maui Jim Cabana sunglasses available on Ebay. They’re a discontinued style that I’ve worn for years and I love the way they look and how they fit. I have them set-up for a “watch” on Ebay so I’m notified whenever a pair becomes available. Imagine my surprise, perhaps disgust, when the most recently available pair was listed as “Vintage”.
I’ve come to the realization that I am just no longer cool (a fact my kids would say has been true for at least a couple of decades), but I’m okay with that. I may not be cool, but I can balance two pairs of glasses on my head at one time – there must be some benefit in talent like that!