As I’ve been whining about for the last few months, this past year has been the toughest of my life – in addition to excess stress from a variety of fronts, I had my first “real” surgery followed by five weeks without putting any weight on my surgeried foot, then three more weeks walking around with a big “boot”, two trips to the ER for surgery-related problems, thrown-out back from walking like a gimp with the boot, no exercise, weight gain – shall I go on?
This definitely hasn’t been my best year and, as it’s gone on and hasn’t gotten better, I’ve honestly worried that I’m just beginning to slip down a slope that leads to “old age”. The stress has taken its toll on my body and I look older. The surgery and back problems cause me to walk bent over and I look older. While my foot recuperates I have to wear “sturdy” shoes that only go with frumpy clothes and I look older. Add that all up and I feel not just older, but old. However, this morning I woke up and was able to stand upright for the first time in over a week. Then, as I began to walk around I realized that my foot wasn’t screaming with excruciating pain for the first time in over two months. I have always promised myself that I’d go kicking and screaming into “old age”, but, for the last few months, I haven’t had any kick or scream in me – only whine (along with some wine), but now I’ve decided that this slope I’ve been slipping down just goes down into a little dip in the road and that this must be the bottom of the dip because I’m now on my way up the other side. It will be a tough climb, but I will get out of this hole and I’m just so thankful that I can now see that it’s just a hole, not that “old age” slope that I’m not yet willing to slide down.