A couple of years ago I saw a plaque in a store that read, “Motherhood is a miracle – no matter how it comes to you.” That touched a note with me since motherhood has come to me in more than one way. My husband and I have children that were born to us, children that were adopted by us and a child that just sort of melded into our family – that I am a mother to each of them is, truly, a miracle. When we welcomed our birth children into our lives, there was the miracle of creating a new life; when our adopted children arrived, there was the miracle that we had been chosen and entrusted with the blessing of raising these children. As the mother of adopted children, I’ve always been aware that they have another family: their birth family. Even though we don’t have information about these other families, they are there, in the background of our lives. Over the years I have dreamed of meeting our children’s birth mothers; of being able to perhaps offer them some peace with their decision to place their child for adoption. I’ve wanted to let them know that their children are treasured, they are loved and they are growing up to be wonderful young people. Now, with our upcoming trip to South Korea, we will have the opportunity to meet our oldest daughter’s birth family and my emotions have been running on “high” ever since we received this news two weeks ago.
Now that we know more information about our daughter’s birth family, I am even more humbled and grateful that she became a part of our lives. I’ve been running through my mind the “what ifs”. What if she had not been born prematurely; what if her birth family had not made an adoption plan for her; what if, what if, what if. She is so much a part of my heart now that I cannot even imagine what life would have been like without her. A set of circumstances, fortuitous for us, led her to us and, while I have no doubt that those circumstances were devastating for her birth family, I am forever grateful that she ended up here.
My husband and I firmly believe that it is our duty to help each of our children with this type of search if that is what their hearts desire. While the reality of this upcoming meeting has left me with reeling emotions far beyond what I’d expected, my husband, my daughter and I chose this path and none of us regret it. While our entire family will be affected by this meeting, I know that this is truly my daughter’s “event” and that it is monumental for her. My husband and I will be beside her to help her, support her and love her. We hope she will take advantage of that and lean on us even as she stands up proudly to welcome her birth family into her life. Yes, motherhood is a miracle – no matter how it comes to you or how it comes back to you.