A few weeks ago, two entries ago, I wrote about the strange peacefulness I was feeling as I began the journey of caring for my mother-in-law. The feeling of peace, of being centered has continued and, given the circumstances of my daily life right now, I’m a little surprised by that. My mother-in-law requires round-the-clock care; she cannot be left alone. Therefore, most of my time for the last three weeks has been spent at home. I do have a relief person who has been coming in two afternoons a week so that I have time to run errands and I’ve made a couple of trips to the grocery store when I have someone else available to cover for me here, but mostly I’ve just been home. Normally I’m used to running around doing errands and transporting kids; it’s a bit strange to be scheduling all of those tasks into two afternoons a week. And, while I find the slower pace nice, I’ve also had my share of cabin fever. However, the peacefulness pervades.
Our Christmas cards this year had a Beatles’ theme because the picture we used on the front was of us crossing Abbey Road a la the album cover. One of the lines inside the card was coo coo ca choo from the song I Am the Walrus. I looked up the meaning of the phrase before using it and, according to the Urban Dictionary, it is: A term used often in the hippie era of the '60s, implying that everything is fine, or that there is no need to worry about anything. While I doubt I’ll ever manage to “not worry about anything,” I do think that my current sense of peacefulness is based on my feeling that I’m doing what I need to be doing right now. Even though caring for someone in this manner is tiring and emotionally draining, it’s what I need to do right now and there’s no sense worrying about the change in our lifestyle or what else I might have been doing. Everything is fine – coo coo ca choo!