Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Too Tired to Think

Where have I been? I haven’t written anything in weeks. Part of the problem is that my laptop has somehow been appropriated and is now the family kitchen computer. Previously, no one else used it and it sat by my writing spot, so that it was always there, waiting for me. That’s really not a good excuse for not writing, but the change in location has disrupted my routine. The real reason for not writing is that I’ve just been too tired to think. I’ve tried working out my thoughts in my head, but it all sounds like a jumble. The ideas don’t connect; the thoughts don’t pan out. My brain just feels tired. I bought a box of greeting cards recently; one of them reads, “Just when did having to juggle everything become a way of life?” I read that and I nod my head; yes, I understand. Just last night someone asked how our family has been. I said, “Busy,” and the person came back with, “Yeah, that’s pretty much how everything is now, isn’t it?” That’s sad.

What I’ve realized during the last few weeks is that I’m not really taking very good care of myself. I’m to the point where stress has me breathing funny on a regular basis; sleep consists of six hours a night, if I’m lucky; food is the comfort I give myself to get through the day. Not a very healthy way to live. But the question is: how does one change that lifestyle? Meditation is the answer that comes most readily to mind, but I’m not sure when I’m supposed to do that – stay up later to meditate? Get up even earlier? It would also be good to have fewer “have to’s” piled on my plate, but again, I’m not sure how I’m supposed to do that – what job, activity or responsibility do I forego? This sounds somewhat whiney and I don’t mean to say that my life is busier than anyone else’s. I know far too many women, and men, who are in this same boat with me. I just don’t know what to do about it and, while I try to figure it out, I just continue to feel too tired to think.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hi Debbie,
I so enjoy reading your blogs. You are so real!

First of all loved the photo of you at the drums. I think serious consideration should be taken about using it for your family holiday card "Little Drummer Girl" :-)! Congrats on camp, going after a dream, and actually performing!

Regarding the "Too Tired to Think" message - too true. I think part of it is the overload on our nervous systems from the very long election process (emotional) and the up and down and up and down and up and down of the stock market, jobs, global recession news (very emotional). Even if we are living in the moment, that input stays in the background of our brains mulling it all over. And it is tiring!

So I think it is time for you to jump back into Queen mode and put your feet up on the sofa, unplug all media and bask in memories of all you set out to do and have done in the last six months of your reign and in your life really. You have energy I envy and no doubt, fresh from rising from your short rest, you'll be back in the active midst of the next six months of plans giving you tons to write about!