Thursday, June 5, 2008

On A Wave!

Years ago we saw the movie, The Four Seasons starring Alan Alda. I don’t remember much about the movie, but I’ve always remembered one particular scene: Alan Alda and some other men are walking through a forest and Alan Alda’s character starts to talk about his theory of marriage. Basically, he states that the feelings within a marriage are like a wave, sometime the wave is crashing against the shore and the emotions are intense, other times the wave ebbs, the water is quiet and we don’t feel so worked up. Throughout the years of our marriage, I remember occasionally referring to “being on a wave” or “the wave is ebbing right now” and feeling that these highs and lows were okay and a natural part of the marital path. It gave me comfort to know that a low time in my emotions wasn’t the end of the relationship; that I could acknowledge the feeling and look toward the day when the wave would once again come crashing to the shore. And so the first 25+ years of our marriage went by with a flow of intense feelings and more emotionally quiet times. But somewhere within the last few years, we’ve noticed that we seem to be on a wave all of the time! There was something about preparing for our big 30th anniversary celebration last year that helped both of us acknowledge and appreciate the relationship we’ve developed, and now, a year later, the high of the 30th anniversary celebration has not waned. Perhaps we’ve gotten through the shallow water and now we’re riding the long wave.

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